‘We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are’ - Max Depree
My young friend is living abroad and is looking for a different job opportunity so that he can come back to this country. While traveling abroad and working there for the last one year has been an amazing learning opportunity, he is ready to come back home to a more familiar environment. He misses little things and misses being close to his family and friends.
When he started to look for a job, he was starting to get stressed. It did not help that he had started working on a project which kept him working six days a week with fourteen hour-days. While he is used to working with a fierce intensity and determination, he is also particular about maintaining some semblance of work-life balance. So equally, the job search was getting to be intense and needed focus and concentration; yet he was finding he had very little time and even less energy to do the needful when he had one day off.
What was interesting was hearing him talk to me two days ago. His tone of voice was different and he was enthusiastic about the insights that he had had. He routinely displays a maturity well beyond his years and is given to frequent introspection and self-awareness. He had done some soul searching and realized that he was experiencing feelings of despondency and desperation in relation to his job search which seemed to be a repeat of what he went through last year when he was looking for his first break. It appears that when he realized this about himself and became aware, he immediately decided that he was not going to go down that path again and suffer from the same emotional down slide. This awareness seems to have motivated him to change his perspective completely. In so doing, he shifted emotionally to a more optimistic view. Interestingly, this helped him see new possibilities for himself and helped pivot him towards what he truly wants to focus on.
When we are used to doing things a certain way and have a set of outcomes to show for the way we do things habitually, it is impossible for us to have a different set of outcomes by continuing to do the same things. If we want different outcomes, we need to change what we are doing. While this seems elementary, it is anything but. What helps in a situation like this is self-awareness. When my young friend became aware that he was experiencing the same negative emotions, his awareness helped him to observe his own behavior and decide that he did not want to go down that path and repeat the experience. Instead, when he consciously chose to change how he viewed his situation, his outcomes changed.
My young friend is living abroad and is looking for a different job opportunity so that he can come back to this country. While traveling abroad and working there for the last one year has been an amazing learning opportunity, he is ready to come back home to a more familiar environment. He misses little things and misses being close to his family and friends.
When he started to look for a job, he was starting to get stressed. It did not help that he had started working on a project which kept him working six days a week with fourteen hour-days. While he is used to working with a fierce intensity and determination, he is also particular about maintaining some semblance of work-life balance. So equally, the job search was getting to be intense and needed focus and concentration; yet he was finding he had very little time and even less energy to do the needful when he had one day off.
What was interesting was hearing him talk to me two days ago. His tone of voice was different and he was enthusiastic about the insights that he had had. He routinely displays a maturity well beyond his years and is given to frequent introspection and self-awareness. He had done some soul searching and realized that he was experiencing feelings of despondency and desperation in relation to his job search which seemed to be a repeat of what he went through last year when he was looking for his first break. It appears that when he realized this about himself and became aware, he immediately decided that he was not going to go down that path again and suffer from the same emotional down slide. This awareness seems to have motivated him to change his perspective completely. In so doing, he shifted emotionally to a more optimistic view. Interestingly, this helped him see new possibilities for himself and helped pivot him towards what he truly wants to focus on.
When we are used to doing things a certain way and have a set of outcomes to show for the way we do things habitually, it is impossible for us to have a different set of outcomes by continuing to do the same things. If we want different outcomes, we need to change what we are doing. While this seems elementary, it is anything but. What helps in a situation like this is self-awareness. When my young friend became aware that he was experiencing the same negative emotions, his awareness helped him to observe his own behavior and decide that he did not want to go down that path and repeat the experience. Instead, when he consciously chose to change how he viewed his situation, his outcomes changed.
So true. Nothing will change until our view of the situation changes.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Malathy. Yes, our perspective changes how we deal with our situations. Change our perspective and our outcomes will change significantly
DeleteVery well written! A lot of us moms are seeing our children go through similar life events. Good to know it is the norm and not an exception. Also that there is way to overcome these challenges through a life coach like you. Perspective is everything!
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear friend. Glad this article resonated with you. Please get in touch with me (harini@cruciblelearning.com) for personalized one-on-one sessions. Would love to talk with you about your challenges.
Delete“If we want different outcomes, we need to change what we are doing” - some of the most powerful people in the world, people like Mahatma Gandhi with his Satyagraha movement, have shown the truth in these words literally by living it. Thanks for this truly inspiring article!
ReplyDelete